Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
