weddingsv make me drug and hornr
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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