I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
