you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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