a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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