Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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