dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you would pick up someone in the library
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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