Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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