you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
