Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
