im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
