I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
