Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
