billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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