You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
