you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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