If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
