Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize