He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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