he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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