honey bunches of taint.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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