well you can't waste a boner
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
