I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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