"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
