spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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