he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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