He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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