Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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