I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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