I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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