I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
