A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have surprise drugs for everyone
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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