The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
