: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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