It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
