all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
