Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
