plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dignity is for republicans.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
