Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
