I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize