I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
