U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
