i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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