Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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