Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize