They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
