Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
