Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
