K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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