dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we have officially lost it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
