her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
