hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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