Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize