Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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