2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
