After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
