There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
