The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
