So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
