Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize