The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
