what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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