So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This girl is more easily done than said...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
