I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
